Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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