I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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