If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
