We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
