I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
