So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
