God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
