i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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