Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
