I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
