It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
