Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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