I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
