I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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