Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
