you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
