One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
