it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize
