I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
We don't watch enough power rangers
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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