Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
