I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
