drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Randomize
