We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Randomize
