didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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