I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
