that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
