ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
