He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
