I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
where does the pee come out of this thing
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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