It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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