Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
