take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
