my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
