im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
