North Korea, Best Korea!
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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