So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
