My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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