forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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