I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
