I like to think it a success when the cops are called
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
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