It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Who did Billy Mays play for?
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Randomize
