she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
