just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
