why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
