HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize