It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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