i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize