Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
