i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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