i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I can feel your judgement through the phone
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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