One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
