as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
