So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
