everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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