I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
