I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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