You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
