hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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