I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Randomize
