im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize