I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
