i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
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