I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Walk of Shame today included voting.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
