Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
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