38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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